New Era

For the times, they are a-changin'....

Now, of course, that song by Bob Dylan was about a more serious topic than Benjamin's Birthday, but it pretty much sums up how I feel today.

Today marks the event of Benjamin's birth two years ago, and it is as much a happy occasion as it is a sad occasion. Well, maybe sad is a harsh word. Perhaps meloncholy would be a better choice. Today marks the day that I can no longer call him a baby and must refer to him by years rather than months. It always sounds a little ridiculous to me when people refer to their children as months when it gets past 24. So he's officially two now. Well, if you want to get all technical, he was born January 23rd 10:08 PM, Hawaii Standard Time, which is actually January 24 for the rest of the country. Interesting little fact there. We're celebrating on the 23rd even though the rest of the family actually found out on the 24th. It's sort of like a leap year anomaly. :)

So the times, yes, they are a changing for sure. Each day is a fun day filled with adventures galore. He's such a sweet child and I'm so lucky to have him.

Happy Birthday, Benjamin!

sign language

Yes, nap time again, so I'm blogging. Warren has recently labeled me an "inspirational blogger". lol... funny man he is. I blog to collect my thoughts and share them with others so they may smile, laugh, and have a better day.

I've always been fascinated with sign language. I'm not really sure where this fascination stems from since I've never known anyone who had significant hearing loss that required the use of sign language. The letter charts have always been fun for me to sit and memorize, but I've never retained the vast majority of the letters since I have no one to practice with. Warren, however, has known the charts for years and years, and never forgets them. He has amazing abilities of retaining information. He has oodles of information tucked away in his brain and pulls them out at the right moments.

So anyway, back to the whole point of this entry, Benjamin's teacher has been teaching him sign language. No, he doesn't have a hearing problem. The theory with autistic children, and all other late talkers actually, is that communicating with signs lessens the frustrations the child has with not being able to communicate their needs and desires. Some parents discourage this education due to the irrational thinking that it will make their children speak even later in life. Most children learn the sign, learn to put the word with the sign, and eventually, drop the sign altogether. Benjamin's first sign was "more" and it is basically just putting your finger tips together with your palms inward. It is easy for children to use this sign for several situations, thus making the use more frequent, thus boosting their self-esteem and willingness to cooperate with teachers/parents.

I really think that I was happier with Benjamin's first sign experience than I was with his first word. (As many of you know, Benjamin had words and then lost them around 15-16 months.) Of course, this is from the same Mom that loves that her child is left-handed... what can I say? I love that my child is different and it makes me a different kind of Mom...

I know that most people wouldn't trade places with me even if they were paid, but I wouldn't trade places with them either.

Milestone charts: friend or foe?

When Benjamin was an infant, I loved milestone charts. There are three categories to most of these charts. The one on the left is labeled as what "almost all" kids can do; the one in the middle is what "most" kids can do; and the one on the right is what "some" kids can do. Needless to say, Benjamin was almost always on the far right hand side. Yes, we were a right-handed side milestone chart family! Oh, how my heart swelled with pride every time I looked at those milestone charts... Benjamin was going to be the next President of the United States. Or at least an astronaut. I was already envisioning the NASA Mom bumper sticker on my Honda.

At around 14 months or so, he slowly started slipping to the middle column for some of the sections. At 18 months, he was almost entirely off the chart in some sections since much of the abilities at that age are centered around language. Now, at almost 24 months, I haven't so much as glanced at a milestone chart in months simply because I could care less. Benjamin, like most children, is very advanced some areas, and very behind in others. I don't remember reading "ability to outmaneuver child safety locks" at 13 months anywhere on the chart.

Benjamin may not fit the mold, but he definitely surprises me everyday with his unusual abilities that far surpass what any milestone chart could ever tell me. The most amazing people in the world are a bit unusual, aren't they? How blessed am I to be the parent of this brilliant little boy? How are we going to pay for space camp???

I think that in the end, milestone charts are exactly what they say at the top of every single one of them and that most people tend to ignore- that they are only meant to be an estimate of the general aptitude of a broad range of children. I think that embracing the differences as well as the similarities in our children's abilities should be recognized.

So perhaps friend and foe.

Small miracles

Today was a great day.

Benjamin acted like a typical two year old today. (Almost two already, can't believe it.) He didn't cling to my side whining all day to be held. He napped almost two hours. He initiated play all by himself. He came to me with his needs. (drink, diaper) He was pleasant at the Dr's office. (We just had to fill out paperwork.)

He pitched a fit twice because he didn't want to come in and I just laughed because it delighted me so to see him happy with other children.

His favorite phrase this week is "weeeee". He says this going down the slide, on the swings, and when rolling his cars down the slide inside. He says it with actual purpose and not just endless babbling. It's amazing how a simple phrase of "weee" can really make your day. :)

Perspective makes all the difference in the world.

Small miracles.

November 12th

What a day that was...

It changed our lives completely.
It gave us more patience.
It gave us more understanding.
It made us nervous.
It made us get busy reading our books instead of skimming through them.
It answered a lot of questions.


It gave us hope for the future.

He's not just anyone...

"He's My Son", by Mark Schultz.

I'm down on my knees again tonight
I'm hoping this prayer will turn out right
See there is a boy that needs Your help
I've done all that I can do myself
His mother is tired
I'm sure You can understand
Each night as he sleeps
She goes in to hold his hand
And she tries not to cry
As the tears fill her eyes

CHORUS:
Can You hear me?
Am I getting through tonight?
Can You see him?
Can You make him feel all right?
If You can hear me
Let me take his place somehow
See, he's not just anyone
He's my son

Sometimes late at night I watch him sleep
I dream of the boy he'd like to be
I try to be strong and see him through
But God who he needs right now is You
Let him grow old
Live life without this fear
What would I be
Living without him here
He's so tired and he's scared
Let him know that You're there

CHORUS

Can You hear me?
Can You see him?
Please don't leave him
He's my son

Benjamin's Progress

I wanted to post an update on Benjamin's progress since we started the casein-free diet about a week ago. Casein is a milk by-product, and Benjamin can not have any milk products at all. Yes, no macaroni and cheese or goldfish. At first, I was seriously wondering what else the child was going to eat besides chicken nuggets and grapes. Benjamin is usually a great eater (can you tell?) with lots of different types of foods, but mac and cheese was his favorite food. I've heard about some kind of soy cheese, but I haven't found it yet.

17th: He pointed to his pacifier on the table that he couldn't reach.
18th: He brought me a book to read.
19th: He repeated the word dog and put a puzzle together without being frustrated. His frustration levels are markedly lower.
20th: He repeated horse, pointed to nose when asked, and played with a group of children and "socialized" without screaming.
22nd: He put the blocks in the correct holes of the toy. You know that toy all kids have with the shapes of a star, cross, circle, square, etc in the round thing that comes apart. I think it's made by tupperware.


These steps are huge for us because none of these ever happened before without serious frustration and crying. Benjamin would physically push books away when you tried to read them to him, and now he will bring them to you. Just amazing transformation. He's still the same child, just happier.

His big appointment is November 12th.