School decisions

Isn't preschool shopping stressful? I know some of you are laughing because it's just preschool and not elementary school. And then others are laughing at the people stressing over which elementary school to chose because their middle schoolers are getting bullied. And then are others laughing at us all because they are more concerned with how in the heck they are going to pay for college! But, anyway, at this stage in my life, I am concerned about preschools, and you may laugh if you wish. :)

So basically, we moved right after the Fall semester started. His preschool was less than five minutes from our house. Now, after moving, it's about 20 with all the red lights. I literally spend 80 minutes at a minimum in the car three times a week. And furthermore, Ethan spends that time in the car as well, and it is completely disrupting his schedule. It isn't going to get any easier. People keep saying that it will. Well, he is the kind of baby who NEEDS a schedule, thrives on it, but yet is not getting it. It makes him very cranky. So, we're reducing Benjamin's days down to two instead of three, and that will help a little bit for the remainder of the school year.

So, a few weeks ago, I started shopping for a new preschool that would be closer to our new home. There are several, and they all fill up fast! I went and toured one that was known for it's acceptance of special needs children (various kinds), and it was CRAZY in there. The teachers were great, but the classrooms were just insane. It looked like my house to be honest. haha. I appreciated their willingness to overlook and even embrace Benjamin's quirks that make him so unique, but I didn't think that he would thrive in that chaos. The second school I absolutely adored, but they had zero interest in Benjamin. Now, I will be completely honest and say that initially I was heartbroken. They didn't even care to meet him, much less return my calls or emails. After a few days, my heartbreak became complete outrage. My child had been blindly discriminated against. They didn't even WANT to meet him. It's more appalling than anything that has ever happened to me or him. In fact, I still can't believe it... but in the end, it has been a complete blessing. Why would I want to send my child to a school where they turn away disabled children? Who are the administrators modeling after? Enough of that, I'm not going to publicly bash the school, but I will give people an honest recount of my experiences.

That left me back at square one, looking for a school. When you have children, you tend to be inundated with Psalm 127:3, which states that children are a heritage from the LORD, offspring a reward from him. Other translations say a blessing. Your children are a blessing from God. Benjamin is a blessing. A gift.

Once I fully realized that, the entire world came off of my shoulders. Why have I been stressing so much about what school to send him to? Really, when I thought about all the reasons I wanted to send him to certain schools, none of it added up. None of the reasons made any sense. Interestingly, the previous two verses in the same chapter of Psalm states that unless the LORD builds the house, the builders labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the guards stand watch in vain. In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat—
for he grants sleep to those he loves. Why do you think that verse comes before the verse about children? Because so many of us labor in vain with worry about our children! God has always been watching over Benjamin, regardless if I've been guarding him or not.

So the decision was easy, and I hope for it to be life changing. He's staying with me! I'm over the moon excited about homeschooling. I can't promise it will be forever, or that I'll even like it 100% of the time. What I can promise is that Benjamin's education will be superb, and that's all I really wanted. He is such a special little boy, my gift. I'm almost embarrassed that I was so quick to give my gift away.