Wildly unpopular parenting

So the last post I touched a little on my dislike for unsolicited advice. At the end of the post I promised to post more about our choices for Benjamin and how these choices have impacted our lives. Many of our decisions are very unpopular and are met with great disdain, which always takes me by surprise because as much as I love my own friends, I don't sit around and think about how their lives are different than ours. Every family situation is unique and when you find a system that works best for your family, you should just do it regardless of how other people may feel about it. And to top it off, you shouldn't feel guilty for those decisions that you know in your heart to be the best choices for your family. And furthermore, the decisions that people make for their family should not be taken as an insult if your lifestyle or previous parenting style is a bit different. Your style is not my style and my style is not the next person's style. Again, embrace differences as just that- a difference of opinion.


One of the main decisions that we've made is about co-sleeping. I've posted on it before. Seems to still be an issue though. Benjamin was a terrible sleeper as an infant. We tried absolutely everything under the sun and when he was six weeks old, I brought him to bed with me out of pure exhaustion. For starters, I had a terrible delivery and a rough time recovering from surgery, so having an infant that quite literally required to be fed every two hours was too much for me to handle. This two hours is from start time to start time, so it was more like every hour and a half at most. I slept in his rocking chair about 75% of the time. There were days where I was so sleepy it was seriously dangerous for me to even drive. My house was a wreck (thank God I had a dishwasher) and we barely ate normal meals until he was six months old. So anyway, enough was enough, and he slept with us and was peaceful at last. He finally slept more than 5 hours a night when he was six months old. And when I tell you that we tried EVERYTHING, I am serious. Do you really think that people enjoy having their children sleep with them? A couple of years later, we learned that Benjamin is a sensory seeker and enjoys constant touch. Even to this day he sleeps better when he is right beside me. He can be clear across the bed and will move in his sleep towards me by midnight or so. No, I do not think that it works for every family or every child. Some children are wonderful sleepers and are exceptionally happy sleeping on their own. May all parents everywhere be blessed with that situation! (Maybe I can get myself one of those children one day.) Given Benjamin's medical situation, it really is the best decision as far as sleeping goes that we could have made. Being secure at night enables him to learn and grow during the day. I truly believe that co-sleeping is one of the keys that has unlocked the door to Benjamin's brain. I understand him, he understands me. People with neuro-typical children have a really hard time understanding how important that is because they have never had to deal with it first hand. Benjamin is making strides far greater than most children with autism can even dream of achieving. Statistically, he only had a 30% chance of speaking a normal language. Let's just think about that for a minute. That's 70% of people diagnosed who never speak. Isn't that something worth changing your life for? Is your child worth it to you? How much inconvenience are you willing to put up with? So you don't have as much room in your bed for a few years.... pretty small sacrifice in my book. Benjamin will eventually ask to sleep in his own bed and that will be fine with me. It's not a co-dependent relationship, trust me. In the meantime, we're okay that he is with us. Three quarters of the world agree with us.