A true friend

A couple of weeks ago I mentioned on fb (Isn't it interesting how popular social networks are that I feel free to type fb knowing that you will all read "facebook" while scanning the sentence. Funny.) that I was so incredibly glad that Benjamin has had such a sweet friend to play with for the past two years. (And it's also funny that they're here today driving me absolutely crazy because the baby is asleep and they are so LOUD.) I'm sure some people who read my status just read it and thought "yeah, that's great... blahblahblah". Well, I will delve a bit deeper as to why I posted that comment and why I truly, deeply meant that I absolutely adore Maddie and why she is such a special little girl.

Sometime last month I was invited by a friend to attend a support group for parents of children with disabilities. The group dynamic was extremely diverse, but the majority of the parents were those of children diagnosed with ASD. One of the parents whose child was 9 or 10 spoke up and asked the group what she should have said to her child when he asked her, "When will I get a real friend?". This mom was almost in tears asking that question and I couldn't help but to think how incredibly fortunate we have been to have had Maddie in our lives for two years. It is so important for children with ASD to have established routines and consistent interaction with the same children, and Maddie is such a gentle, smart little girl. Benjamin literally screamed around other children and clung to me for dear life before he met Maddie. From the first day that she stayed with us, he has loved her and they have been genuine friends. Their relationship has set the foundation for future relationships and for that I am infinitely indebted to the Beasley family.

bye bye Daddy

Every Thursday after speech, Benjamin and I stop by CFA and grab lunch for all of us and bring it back home. Warren is usually starving by 11am since he rarely eats breakfast, and it is sort of like a treat for him since he stays home with Ethan, whom he refers to as "the screaming baby". (He's not that bad, just so you know.) So anyway, Benjamin stole Warren's coke and was walking around the house with it and we hardly ever allow him to drink caffeinated beverages, much less one with carbonation and caffeine. We had an incident about a year ago with carbonation that was not pretty. Yuck. So, he was walking around with it and Warren was getting ready to go to work and Benjamin sits the coke on the desk way away from Warren and says "bye bye Daddy.... bye bye..." and then looks at him as if to say, "What? This is mine, not yours.".... oh my gosh it was hilarious. And I guess you would have just had to have been here to witness the whole thing, but Benjamin usually makes a big ordeal about Warren leaving for work. He follows him to the door and has a two hug minimum and sometimes a call back from the truck for one more hug. It's sweet. So for him to just say bye bye like that with his coke in hand was just a riot!

Eyes of God

Children are awesome, aren't they? They are incredibly accepting (well, until a certain age, I think) and see the most miraculous creations of God. We as adults tend to be blinded by all the complexities of life. Children truly see people and objects as God sees them. Well, Benjamin does anyway. I love that kid. And not only because he's my child, but because he is my teacher. He has taught me so much more than I could ever teach him. Sure, I'm teaching him letters, numbers, and eventually how to tie his shoes, but he is teaching me acceptance, joyfulness, and creativity.

A sampling of my personal favorites this week:

Acceptance: A little boy lives across the street from us and we've actually never met, so I can't say for sure how old he is, but he looks around seven. He walks to school, and I'm assuming that he's walking over to the local elementary school. We see him quite frequently as he leaves around the same time that we start loading up the car for preschool. He is very polite and always says good morning and generally just looks like a good kid. He is quite short and is just a wee bit chubby around the middle. (which is precious to me) Benjamin gets in the car today and rubs his tummy and says, "I like it". "What do you like, Benjamin?" "That boy. I like his tummy." and then rubs his tummy again and smiles.

Joyfulness: We love to go for walks in the afternoon, usually sometime between 3 and 4:30. This is of course the time that I should be making dinner arrangements because it takes forever to cook when you have two small children, but whatever, it makes him happy and Ethan takes a little nap in the stroller and it makes me feel better, too. Benjamin has the same routine, the same route, and it gets quite boring for me sometimes, but I don't mind too much because while we're walking I'm envisioning wearing smaller pants this winter. So as we're coming around the corner of the loop, he shouts, "Look, a purple leaf! Mommy, it's a purple leaf!" Just the look in his eyes made me completely break down in tears. And it makes me cry a little just thinking about it again. He was so incredibly joyful for this purple leaf. One purple leaf. I can't wait until the whole tree turns.

Creativity: Ethan has had a runny nose off and on for weeks now, so I've had to suction his nose with one of those bulb things. No idea what they're actually called. Benjamin walks downstairs carrying the bulb and says, "paint, Mommy, we need paint." And I ask why and he says, "for this pumpkin" and he bends the long part of this suction thing down to look like a pumpkin stem and just laughs about it. He amuses me so much.

Magic Stick

Scene: Mommy is loading dishwasher and little boy is playing in pantry.

Little Boy: Mommy, look, I have magic sticks.
Mommy: Mmhm, that's great.
Little Boy: No, Mommy, LOOK.
Mommy: Benjamin, those are batteries. That's not really a toy.
Little Boy: Yes, I know. They're magic sticks. Not a toy. A magic stick.

content

So, my little sugar buggar is doing so well. I can't even imagine life as it used to be. Benjamin is such a typical little boy now. He still has his quirks- don't misunderstand me, but he is very VERY normal from the outside perspective. He still has a delay in speaking and he does echo a lot of his language, but for right now, I am content with his development. He is such a sweet child. I really couldn't ask for more in that department.

almost voluntary vegan

So Benjamin goes without dairy, but that part is controlled by me; his lack of meat eating is controlled by him. What is it with some kids and meat? No idea where this odd behavior comes from considering that Warren is a meatatarian. I mean he should be on the Hillshire meat commercials where the guys are standing around grilling shouting "go meat!". They are seriously missing out on him being in their commercials. Maybe I should give them a call one day.

Also, is there an end to how much peanut butter a toddler will consume? I mean really. Thank God Benjamin isn't allergic to peanut butter because we'd be in some serious trouble otherwise.

GFCF for good

Benjamin ate something somewhere with either milk or wheat, or probably both considering the severity of the incident, but he was completely hysterical Wednesday. He woke up at 3am that morning and was awake until 11pm that night, which obviously made the situation a million times worse. Poor kid. Poor Mommy.

There are tons of research studies stating that the diet does or does not work, but it works 100% of the time for my child. I don't know what causes it and nor do I care, but when he ingests milk or wheat, he is a completely different child. All of his symptoms are a million times worse and his stomach is upset for days. He obviously has issues with those substances. There are so many different types of autistic behaviors and definitely a spectrum of severity, hence the Autism Spectrum Disorder label, but there has to be something to this food issue with some of the people with the condition. You'd think that with so many people affected there would be more research done on food, but for some reason researchers never want to blame food for ANYTHING. It's annoying.