fairness

Sometimes I wonder what is fair for my child in terms of explaining his disability.  Should I just tell people?  Or should I just let him be who is, and then let them wonder?  Part of me wants to do both, but usually I just inevitably say nothing and hope for the best.  I'm way past making excuses for his behavior, and I have the luxury of doing so because he is still a young child.  Not that I'm fearful for the future (Well, obviously I am a tiny bit.  I doubt that you'd find any parent who isn't at least a little fearful.), but I know that there will be a time in our future where people will start to notice that he's a bit different.  People do notice now, of course, but most people can't quite put their finger on it since his language skills have progressed so nicely.  So I never really know what the best answer is when we meet new people.  I'm always thinking in my heart that the best answer is that he's special, but that has such a bad connotation because people use that to mean "slow."  Benjamin is most emphatically not slow.  Neurotypical learning impaired, yes.  Slow, no.  Special?  Most definitely.

(as I'm being backwards bear-hugged)

Socialization?

So Benjamin had his yearly checkup with his developmental doctor a few weeks ago.  All is well- in fact, we don't have to go back for two years unless we have issues arise before then.  The interesting part of the visit was that the doctor was surprised that we were homeschooling this year.  (He is still in pre-k, just FYI.)  Her concern was that he needed to be in a group for socialization.  Why do all doctors think that this is the best choice for children with Autism?  What skills are we actually teaching by this so-called socialization?  Children in school are really only permitted to socialize in lunch (if they're uber quiet) and at recess (which is waning by the minute in every school around the nation).  I don't understand this mass socialization that is supposed to help my child learn how to relate to other people later in life.  Do we as adults socialize in groups of 8-30 on a regular basis?  And I'm saying 8 as the minimum number of children in a class, although in reality the number is much more generous than that in almost all classes.  I never understood this concept of mass socialization as it does not encourage real friendships, but rather fleeting conversations that never amount to anything but getting invited to three thousand birthday parties where the parents are forced to stand around and make small talk and referee the children from each other.  Because honestly, most parents of children have nothing in common (or so they think) with each other other than the fact that their children are in the same class.  Very few people actually want to befriend other parents in the classroom.  They want to live their busy lives, keep the friends they have, and leave it at that.  (I'm not saying that is a terrible thing, but rather just reality.)  But what this leaves us with are forced friendships amongst our children that never amount to much of anything.  So why is this socialization at SCHOOL so important?  I thought that school was primarily for learning, and isn't that exactly why children tend to get into trouble at school?  For socializing when they're supposed to be paying attention in class?  This concept just escapes me.

I just smiled and said yes, he is properly socialized and has real friends whose parents I know and love.