Milestone charts: friend or foe?

When Benjamin was an infant, I loved milestone charts. There are three categories to most of these charts. The one on the left is labeled as what "almost all" kids can do; the one in the middle is what "most" kids can do; and the one on the right is what "some" kids can do. Needless to say, Benjamin was almost always on the far right hand side. Yes, we were a right-handed side milestone chart family! Oh, how my heart swelled with pride every time I looked at those milestone charts... Benjamin was going to be the next President of the United States. Or at least an astronaut. I was already envisioning the NASA Mom bumper sticker on my Honda.

At around 14 months or so, he slowly started slipping to the middle column for some of the sections. At 18 months, he was almost entirely off the chart in some sections since much of the abilities at that age are centered around language. Now, at almost 24 months, I haven't so much as glanced at a milestone chart in months simply because I could care less. Benjamin, like most children, is very advanced some areas, and very behind in others. I don't remember reading "ability to outmaneuver child safety locks" at 13 months anywhere on the chart.

Benjamin may not fit the mold, but he definitely surprises me everyday with his unusual abilities that far surpass what any milestone chart could ever tell me. The most amazing people in the world are a bit unusual, aren't they? How blessed am I to be the parent of this brilliant little boy? How are we going to pay for space camp???

I think that in the end, milestone charts are exactly what they say at the top of every single one of them and that most people tend to ignore- that they are only meant to be an estimate of the general aptitude of a broad range of children. I think that embracing the differences as well as the similarities in our children's abilities should be recognized.

So perhaps friend and foe.

Small miracles

Today was a great day.

Benjamin acted like a typical two year old today. (Almost two already, can't believe it.) He didn't cling to my side whining all day to be held. He napped almost two hours. He initiated play all by himself. He came to me with his needs. (drink, diaper) He was pleasant at the Dr's office. (We just had to fill out paperwork.)

He pitched a fit twice because he didn't want to come in and I just laughed because it delighted me so to see him happy with other children.

His favorite phrase this week is "weeeee". He says this going down the slide, on the swings, and when rolling his cars down the slide inside. He says it with actual purpose and not just endless babbling. It's amazing how a simple phrase of "weee" can really make your day. :)

Perspective makes all the difference in the world.

Small miracles.

November 12th

What a day that was...

It changed our lives completely.
It gave us more patience.
It gave us more understanding.
It made us nervous.
It made us get busy reading our books instead of skimming through them.
It answered a lot of questions.


It gave us hope for the future.

He's not just anyone...

"He's My Son", by Mark Schultz.

I'm down on my knees again tonight
I'm hoping this prayer will turn out right
See there is a boy that needs Your help
I've done all that I can do myself
His mother is tired
I'm sure You can understand
Each night as he sleeps
She goes in to hold his hand
And she tries not to cry
As the tears fill her eyes

CHORUS:
Can You hear me?
Am I getting through tonight?
Can You see him?
Can You make him feel all right?
If You can hear me
Let me take his place somehow
See, he's not just anyone
He's my son

Sometimes late at night I watch him sleep
I dream of the boy he'd like to be
I try to be strong and see him through
But God who he needs right now is You
Let him grow old
Live life without this fear
What would I be
Living without him here
He's so tired and he's scared
Let him know that You're there

CHORUS

Can You hear me?
Can You see him?
Please don't leave him
He's my son

Benjamin's Progress

I wanted to post an update on Benjamin's progress since we started the casein-free diet about a week ago. Casein is a milk by-product, and Benjamin can not have any milk products at all. Yes, no macaroni and cheese or goldfish. At first, I was seriously wondering what else the child was going to eat besides chicken nuggets and grapes. Benjamin is usually a great eater (can you tell?) with lots of different types of foods, but mac and cheese was his favorite food. I've heard about some kind of soy cheese, but I haven't found it yet.

17th: He pointed to his pacifier on the table that he couldn't reach.
18th: He brought me a book to read.
19th: He repeated the word dog and put a puzzle together without being frustrated. His frustration levels are markedly lower.
20th: He repeated horse, pointed to nose when asked, and played with a group of children and "socialized" without screaming.
22nd: He put the blocks in the correct holes of the toy. You know that toy all kids have with the shapes of a star, cross, circle, square, etc in the round thing that comes apart. I think it's made by tupperware.


These steps are huge for us because none of these ever happened before without serious frustration and crying. Benjamin would physically push books away when you tried to read them to him, and now he will bring them to you. Just amazing transformation. He's still the same child, just happier.

His big appointment is November 12th.

Benjamin's Left Rain Boot

Last weekend, my neighbor and I went to several yard sales and I picked up a pair of rain boots for Benjamin. These boots are the cutest boots EVER. They are blue with a green stripe across the top accompanied by yellow embellishments. Now I'm not so sure if they in themselves are cute, or if Benjamin makes them the cutest boots EVER. He absolutely adores them! The left one, specifically. No idea why. He will bring me the left boot almost every time and wants to wear it. They are a little bit too big and awkward for him to put them on all by himself. He is fine with wearing both at the same time, but prefers to wear just the left one around the house. We haven't ventured outside with them yet since it is still a little too warm for knee high boots.

He actually prefers to do everything with the left side of his body. He pushes things with his left hand, writes with his left hand, and kicks the ball with his left foot. I'm weirdly excited to have a left-handed child.

dolphin show

We went to the zoo while we were in Indiana and we all decided to go to a dolphin show. (Warren's Aunt, her grandson, me, Cindy, and Bp) Now this is the first time Benjamin has been to the zoo, much less a dolphin show. Actually, much less any sort of show that requires you to sit and be somewhat still. We did get there right in the nick of time for the show, so that made it a little better since we didn't have to wait... you can see where I'm leading up to.

The trainers came out and the dolphins were released into the pools and they were playing all sorts of pump up music. "Pump up the jam" was actually playing if you remember that song. (skating rink anyone?) So Bp was all excited clapping his hands and sitting in my lap squealing with delight.

For one brief moment, I thought I was losing my baby and gaining a big boy. My eyes did glisten a bit and I was sad that Warren was missing this experience. However, I was jolted back into reality about eight minutes later when he was squealing, but not with delight mind you, because he was either bored, hot, hungry, sleepy, thirsty, etc.

Thank God.

Our house

We're back home now, jiggity jig. My Mom says that, I have no idea where it comes from.

Benjamin has no recollection of this house... sometimes he gets this look on his face as if he is remembering something about a toy or the outside, but he most definitely does NOT remember the planes. The returning look of sheer terror every time one goes over our house is my affirmation that he does not remember, nor does he care for it one little bit. Oh well, at least I don't have to go to the toy store for a while. Everything is shiny as a new penny around here to him. Lucky me!

Legacy

I like a song with great lyrics. Songs that can come to life are the best ones- the ones that speak to your heart. It's not a secret that I like songs that you can sing along to, but when they actually have a meaning, it's all the better. However, I'll admit that I have sung "baby hit me one more time" more than my share. Anyway...

The song "Legacy" by Nichole Nordeman will make you think about your life and it's direction. Having children will change the way you view yourself and how you view the world. This song definitely makes me think of where I'm going and how Benjamin is helping me get there. Several of these lyrics are paraphrased and they are how I fit them into my life.

What kind of Mother do I want to be? I want to be one that leaves a legacy.

How will he remember me?

Did I point to God enough to make a mark on things? I want to leave an offering.

Will he be a child of mercy and grace who blesses God's name unapologetically?

Am I leaving that kind of legacy?

You could take my picture and hang it in a gallery of all who's who and so-n-so's that used to be the best at such-n-such, but would it really matter if I didn't leave a legacy?

In the end, I'd like to hang my hat on something more than the temporary trappings of this world.


One day, if somebody asks Benjamin to describe his mother, I'd like him to say, "One that always put her family first... one that left a legacy."

continuous travel

I was browsing through some of my pictures on Facebook, and I saw my house and didn't realize it was mine. That's how long we've been gone! Not really, but it feels that way sometimes. In all honesty, I just didn't recognize the floor in one picture. It is still somewhat new to us, afterall.

We're in Indy now for the next two weeks and it should be a fun time. Bp is doing well and continues to make me smile. He had quite a nice conversation with the other little boy today sitting next to us at the breakfast restaurant. Benjamin is quite vocal to say the least. The other boy didn't say a word and sat there with an interesting look on his face...almost as if he thought bp was some sort of alien. I for once want to be in a restaurant where another child is louder than Benjamin. It makes me wonder why some kids are quiet and others are loud. We're not loud people, so why would we produce a loud child? Do loud people produce quiet children? Hmm, perhaps someone should do a case study on this and get back to me.

*I* want to be the parent of the good, seemingly quiet child at a restaurant sometime. Of course, what then would I smile at? Who really wants a dull kid?

Maybe just a dull kid in a restaurant would be okay every now and then.

Athens, hurray!

So yesterday I dropped my baby sister off to the University of Georgia. This is her second year there and she was WAY beyond excited about going back. Almost a bit too much for our parents' sake if you ask me, but what can you tell an 18 year old? Oh well, we still love her.

My parents kept bp (the p is for Parker) for the day-turned-in-to-night-trip and apparently he was an "angel". How could this be? Where is this angel during the days I am with him?? Still amazes me how this could be the truth. This is the same child who screams when I walk out the door, but is strangely perfect for hours on end ten minutes later. Somebody should write a book about what all babysitters/grandparents do to our children to make them behave, because it's obvious that we as all parents are just doing it wrong.

Or perhaps our children are just spoiled? Yes, that's the ticket.

Oh well, he'll have the rest of his adult life to overcome the mistakes that Warren and I make. Aren't we all doing just that? This of course is a rhetorical question because my parents are perfect. :)

Hurricane Benjamin

To say that today has been destructive is an understatement, and it's only 12pm. As mentioned earlier, Benjamin and I are staying with my parents in Georgia. This house has not had a baby in it's presence for any length of time in about... oh... 50 years. So, needless to say, Benjamin has had quite an affect on many of the furnishings. We like to call him Hurricane Benjamin.

1. The grandfather clock which was one of the many possessions my parents inherited when moving in this house, has a section on the bottom which is made of this woven cotton feeling material. Apparently, this is a perfect spot in which to poke your finger through if you are 18 months old. Interestingly, Benjamin has this condition in which once he makes a hole in something, he is required to make it irreparable. Warren calls this condition "baby crack". (Have I ever mentioned how funny my husband is? Well, he is. Another story perhaps.)

2. When I am here alone, I am forced to drag Benjamin in the bathroom with me when I take a bath. So we're in there and I'm washing my hair, and I hear the sound of tile falling from the countertop. There are these tiles that are sort of hanging from the top of the countertop. They are about 1/2 inch long and are only meant for decoration. Anyway, so one of them falls and Benjamin of course has to investigate immediately. I can see his mind racing at this point (I'm across the room mind you. This bathroom is huge.) and he snatches several more of them down before I can get out dripping wet to stop him. My only fear is that he will continue to try to pull more them all down every time we go in there. Good times.

So this is more than enough destruction for one day.

Mark Harris

I think this song is a dedication from all mothers to their children. I absolutely adore it. I can see myself 20 years from now when Benjamin is grown and me still crying listening to it thinking he's a baby. It makes me tear up now just listening to it.


Mark Harris: Find Your Wings.

It's only for a moment you are mine to hold
The plans that heaven has for you
Will all too soon unfold
So many different prayers I'll pray
For all that you might do But most of all I'll want to know
You're walking in the truth
And If I never told you
I want you to know
As I watch you grow

Chorus: I pray that God would fill your heart with dreams
And that faith gives you the courage
To dare to do great things
I'm here for you whatever this life brings
So let my love give you roots
And help you find your wings

May passion be the wind
That leads you through your days
And may conviction keep you strong
Guide you on your way
May there be many moments
That make your life so sweet
Oh, but more than memories

Chorus: It's not living if you don't reach for the sky
I'll have tears as you take off
But I'll cheer as you fly

amoxicillin

I have to share my experience with this so-called wonder drug that all doctors from here to India give all children with any form of bacterial infection: amoxicillin.

Sunday: A couple of week ago, poor Benjamin wakes up at 4am on our big day to see very-pregnant Beth with a fever of 102. (To be honest, my first thought was, "Please God, not another stomach virus. I just can't live through another day/night of hotdog all over me.) Of course this was a Sunday because ALL children get sick on the weekends when it's next to impossible to see a doctor for a routine sickness.

Monday: We go and see a doctor here in town and they give the wonder drug amoxicillin for his ear infection. Yes, I did forget to mention that that's all it was, so thank you God for keeping the hotdogs in his tummy and not all over mine.

Tuesday: Happy baby! All was proclaimed well and our trip was rescheduled for the next day. We went to eat mexican partly to celebrate this event and partly because I will turn into a Gremlin if I go longer than a week without cheese dip. No idea why, this is just part of my life that we all have to deal with. So lunch was a fun trip and I even have a picture of this delicious dip all over Benjamin to prove how much fun we had. Thirty minutes after lunch, Benjamin starts grunting and crying uncontrollably and quite frankly scared the beejesus out of me. He was turning red and getting on all fours like an animal and rocking back and forth. REALLY weird. Mom came home from work because I was frantic and called the paramedics because we were concerned he was having trouble breathing. They get here and in not so many words call me crazy because he calmed down a bit by then and almost fell asleep. Now, I know my child and this was not any sort of behavior that was remotely normal, but yet they continued to look at me as if I were the ignorant "new mom". Oh well, I'm just glad that all it turned out to be was a "stomachache" from the cheese dip. (I can't even tell you how many times he's had cheese dip.) We call the Dr who saw him and she recommended that we "cut down on milk and all dairy". The problem with this is that Benjamin loves milk. It was a bad night, I tell ya.

Wednesday: Benjamin is now drinking Lactaid (which btw he is still on and it is working quite nicely) and has mysterious looking bumps on the back of his neck. I thought it was from the tag on his new shirt. About ten minutes later, the bumps were all over his chest, back, and creeping in on his face. He appears healthy otherwise. I of course immediately thought it was from the medicine and read the side affects and "severe stomachache" and "rash" were two of the most awful ones listed and "discontinue drug" posted right beside it if problems arise. What the heck was this doctor thinking? Stomachache from the cheese dip my ***.

We went to the ER and he was placed on a different antibiotic for his ear infection, which had almost cleared up completely by this point, and he has been happy ever since. Doctors sometimes really should listen to parents a little more closely.

This is sooooo not the first time that I knew something was wrong with my child and I was labeled a "new mom".

Toddlerville for me

This whole blogging thing is so much fun. Apparently, I'm the last person to have their own blog website if they have commericals about it on tv already. Oh well, I'm always a little bit behind the times these days.

What I'm WAY up on are children's television shows, books, and basically everything involving toddlers. This is my life these days and I wouldn't change it a bit. Lots of people feel as if they "lose" themselves when they become a parent, but I feel as if you "find" yourself in more ways that not.

Benjamin at the moment is making this odd squishy sound with his mouth that is rather suspicious. Okay, just the sound of a straw being crunched in half. How sharp do your teeth have to be to tear a straw? Good grief.

Anyway, so as I was saying, it isn't as if I had this action-packed life before he was born to begin with, so he is more than mildly entertaining in his toddler years.

July 18, 2008

Hey everyone! :) Let me start off by saying this whole blogging thing is new to me, so if I screw it up and you notice, screw you. hehe. Just kidding.

Benjamin and I are in Ga for a few more weeks, and then we're off to Indiana to see Warren's parents. We have had a nice three weeks here, but as you can all imagine, it is difficult being in your own house for a decade and then coming home with a toddler. It's been nice to be home though. More days in a row that I've been home since I left for the Navy back in 98. Getting so old!

Benjamin is saying and doing lots of fun things. He looks up at the light and says "ight", but it comes out like ite. He loves the "this little piggy" game and will promptly say "weee" if you ask him what the piggies do. It's hilarious. He favorite game is still chase and he loves it even more if you chase him with his little lawn mower. Good times.:) His current favorite movie is Ratatouille, and I'm extremely glad to have a break from Nemo. I swear that I know all the words to Finding Nemo. His other favorite thing to do around the house is taking off his diaper and running nekkid. What can I say, he's a boy. Either that or a junior nudist.

Hope you're all having fun. :)